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CLAIM: Deadpool VS SCUD by totalgymvssonic CLAIM: Deadpool VS SCUD :icontotalgymvssonic:totalgymvssonic 3 5 Zone-tan JUS by totalgymvssonic Zone-tan JUS :icontotalgymvssonic:totalgymvssonic 3 0 Freakazoid (CPS2-style sprite) by totalgymvssonic Freakazoid (CPS2-style sprite) :icontotalgymvssonic:totalgymvssonic 5 0
Literature
CVC Mini-Match: Phil Connors VS Tracer

(I Got You Babe - Sonny & Cher)
“Babe...I got you, babe…”
Phil Connors, the hapless weatherman, woke up once again to the sounds of his alarm. He’d been stuck in a time loop for a long time now. He got ready, in almost exactly the same way he’d been getting ready since this whole thing had started. After he was ready, he walked onto the street, expecting the exact same events that had been happening to him. However, what he found was a bit different from the norm.

In zipped a short-haired girl, with goggles, a flight jacket, orange spandex pants, and a weird technological glowy thing on her chest. She was holding up two futuristic guns, and she stopped him on the street. “Stop right there!” Phil did indeed stop in the middle of the sidewalk, turning around to face the Overwatch He
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Squirreltama from sketchbook [names are bad :S] by totalgymvssonic Squirreltama from sketchbook [names are bad :S] :icontotalgymvssonic:totalgymvssonic 4 3
Literature
Ultimate All-Star Battle Royale: Spider-Man
Spider-Man

Voiced by Josh Keaton

Character Bio
FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD HERO

Peter Parker was an average, nerdy kid living with his aunt and uncle, but after accidentally being bitten by a radioactive spider on a school field trip, Peter at first felt sick, but soon gained amazing spider-like abilities. The first thing he did with them was exploit them for monetary gain, but after a show where he displayed his prowess, he let a robber escape when he could’ve stopped him. Later, he went home and found that a robber had killed his uncle, who turned out to be the same one he failed to stop earlier. After catching the thief and turning him over to the police, Peter vowed to live by the words his late uncle gave him: “With great power comes great responsibility.” Working as a photographer for the Daily Bugle in his day job, and turning Spider-Man into a full-time superhero (among many other experiences), Peter has lived up to the famous motto tha
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Literature
FIGHT FOR ALL FICTION: Fio Germi

FIOLINA GERMI
Character Status: Starter
Weight Class: Medium-Light
Nickname: my waifu  just Fio, I suppose?

Theme:
Origin:
Amidst all the chaos of multiverses getting mixed together, Fio was enlisted as part of a special task force to track down any sort of world-conquering terrorist organization that would try to take advantage of the situation. Along with a multitude of others, ranging from soldiers she’d worked with in the past, to names like William Guile, Nick Fury, “Snake Eyes”, James Bond, and even the likes of Erin Esurance and the RED/BLU teams, this team was comprised of the multiverse’s finest soldiers, agents, and mercenaries, and Fio was honored to fight alongside them. Even on her own, she’d be a force to be reckoned with, as she had experience with using heavy weaponry against both Earthly and extra-terrestrial t
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Literature
FIGHT FOR ALL FICTION: Luigi



LUIGI
Character Status: Starter (I cut him some slack :V)
Weight Class: Medium-Light
Nickname: Green Mario

Theme:

Origin:
Mario and Luigi were going through the underground of the Mushroom Kingdom, as several pipes down there were said to have “taken away” certain residents, including even Princess Peach and Bowser. As per usual, the mushroom citizens turned to the Mario Brothers in their time of need.
As Mario and Luigi inspected one of the pipes, they looked inside and saw a rather bright light. It was hard to look at directly, so they tried not to look for too long. Unfortunately, Luigi was holding onto the pipe rather precariously, and he was kind of clumsy sometimes. He tripped and fell into the pipe and got sucked in. Mario tried to go after him, but the portal inside gave off a strong blast of energy that sent Mario flying to
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Literature
FIGHT FOR ALL FICTION: the Kool-Aid Man

THE KOOL-AID MAN
Character Status: Unlockable (Go to the store and purchase some Kool-Aid, then scan the barcode with the special "Fight for All Fiction" scanner. Now you've unlocked Kool-Aid Man! Oh yeah!)
Nickname: “Hey, Kool-Aid!”

Theme:
Origin:
After helping some kids and a group of scientists save the day from a group of Thirsties who wanted to turn the Earth into a desert, thus turning the world into a dried up, water-and-Kool-Aid-less wasteland that was unsafe for anyone but them, Kool-Aid Man was happy that he had successfully saved the world from an apocalyptic level of thirst. He was so happy, in fact, that he hadn’t noticed he’d spilled some of his Kool-Aid on the ground. The Kool-Aid Man slipped and fell as he walked along, and accidentally tripped into the interior of a dimensional-travel machine. The machine went off, sending him hurtl
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Pikachu VS Pulseman (All-Star Showdown) by totalgymvssonic Pikachu VS Pulseman (All-Star Showdown) :icontotalgymvssonic:totalgymvssonic 3 0 Merry Christmas! by totalgymvssonic Merry Christmas! :icontotalgymvssonic:totalgymvssonic 2 3
Literature
CVC Mini-Match:Mario and Luigi VS Batman and Robin

(Underground - Super Mario Run)


The two famed caped crusaders of Gotham, one clad mostly in blue and grey, with pointed ears, and the other almost looking like a Christmas elf, were sneaking their way through a pathway underneath the city to find a master criminal. It also happened to be right near the sewer system of the city, unfortunately. “Holy stink-bombs, Batman! Why did we have to go to a place that smells so bad?”, the younger of the two exclaimed. The older crime-fighter advised his young ward, saying “Crime-fighting is not always roses, Robin, remember that. Be glad we aren’t actually treading water.”
Meanwhile, at the other end of the pathway, after turning a corner, two overall-wearing, mustachioed plumbers, one shorter and red-
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Literature
Ducko Flies Into DEATH BATTLE For Winter!

Ducko
AKA: Duck, King Ducko, RoboDuck (along with numerous other forms), not Donald Duck
Real Name?: Alexander, Albert/AlWikowonkavitz, totalgymvssonic, dickoducko 
- (These are the names of his creator, who may or may not hold similar opinions and personality traits with this mascot.)
First Known Appearance: The Birth of Christ (Although it's implied he's been around longer)
Affiliation: Character VS Character (CVC), which he cohosts on YouTube alongside :iconmaxfunnies2550:
Age: Unknown, definitely older than you
Likes: General pop cultural nonsense
Other ducks
Most other animals besides ducks
Friends
Food
Attractive women (usually humanoid and not duck-oid, for some reason)
Dislikes: Chickens (unless they're food)
Geese
Death (I guess this'll be a Batman/Aang scenario...)
People eating/otherwise harming his fellow ducks
Racists >:V
Being tr
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Mature content
Drew Pickles Goes To DEATH BATTLE! :icontotalgymvssonic:totalgymvssonic 7 11
Literature
DEATH BATTLE Fight - Spider-Man VS the Tick


AL:
Okay, now that we’ve given a rundown of these two heroes, let’s see how they actually stack up against each other in a fight.
THE EYE: Which arachnid gets squashed? Will Spider-Man shoot webs out of his ass and devour his foe? Or will the Tick suck out all of Peter Parker’s blood?
AL: I doubt either of those things will happen.
THE EYE: It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!
                                                                                                                                               
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Pikachu by totalgymvssonic Pikachu :icontotalgymvssonic:totalgymvssonic 4 1

Favourites

Literature
ANIME HUNTER: FIGHT

PRELUDE HERE DWEEBS:

AL: Alright, it looks like we’ve gone over the combatants well enough. Let’s hop to it…
CLETUS: IT’S TIME FOR A DEEEATH BATTLE!!!!!
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    "What's up, it's ya boy, Filthy Frank! And today, as the anime hunter, I'm going to take on the most overwanked anime character of all...no, not Goku. It’s Saitama, the One Punch Man." Franku then started going into a mocking voice. “Oh, Saitama, he’s the One Punch Man, he can defeat Superman and Goku at the same time! Oh, he could defeat Thanos with the Infinity Gauntlet! He could defeat--fuckin’, God in one punch! He’s omniversal because one punch, LOL!” Frank then switched back to his normal voice and shouted “NO! Fuck that shit! He’s not a
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Literature
Composite! Snake-Eyes Stays Silent in DEATH BATTLE


Snake-Eyes:
-Real name: Classified
-Gender: Male
-Birthplace: Classified
-Alias: Silent Master, Mr. Hebime
-A ton of his info is classified
-Had two masters known as Soft Master and Hard Master 
-Somehow communicates with people just by staring at them.
-Themes:


Feats:
-Went on several missions with the G.I. Joe Team.
-Can single handedly take down entire Military compounds by himself.
-Regularly fights off waves of soldiers, ninjas, mechs, and vampire zombies all by himself.
-Has defeated a wide range of both Cobra members and G.I. Joe members.
-Widely considered to be the best fighter in the G.I. Joe universe. 
-In some incarnations was selected to be the leader of the Arashikage Clan and be Hard Master's successor. 
-Became a soldier and fought in the Vietnam War of a LLRP
-Was one of the only surviving members of
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Avenging Trinity - Final by xXdemi-godXx Avenging Trinity - Final :iconxxdemi-godxx:xXdemi-godXx 12 1 The Final Cross-Up by SnoopSama The Final Cross-Up :iconsnoopsama:SnoopSama 6 3 BRICKHEAD Issue #2: Page 3 by BrickheadComics BRICKHEAD Issue #2: Page 3 :iconbrickheadcomics:BrickheadComics 3 0
Literature
Power Girl Powers Through Death Battle!

Power Girl
AKA:Kara Zor-L, Karen Starr, Kara of Atlantis, Nightwing, Karen Danvers, Karen Steele, Supergirl, Galatea, The Girl Of Steel, The Woman Of Steel, Power Woman, Powergirl
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 200lbs
First Appearance: All-Star Comics #58 All Star Super Squad
Feats:
-Was the Supergirl of Earth 2
-Is a member of the Justice Society of America
-Founded her own technology company Starrware
-Was one of the founding members of Infinity Inc
-Was a member of Justice League Europe
-Used to work with the Birds of Prey
-Teamed up with Supergirl to free Kandor from Ultraman
-Along with Atlee, saved Manhattan from Ultra-Humanite
-Helped Vartox cure his people of a contraceptive bomb
-Worked with the Justice League to hunt down Maxwell Lord
-Stopped a cyborg called C.R.A.S.H. from destroying New York City
Physicality:

Strength:
-Shatters a giant magic sword
-With Martian Manhunter, Superman, Wonder Woman, Captain Ma
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Super Mario Maker - 8-Bit Character Costumes 32x32 by RidgeTroopa Super Mario Maker - 8-Bit Character Costumes 32x32 :iconridgetroopa:RidgeTroopa 126 23
Literature
DBX: I AM A REAL AMERICAN!

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
    Professional wrestler Hulk Hogan proudly stood next to an American Flag, as the national anthem played for him. He was proud to be an american, as always! The Hulkster even shed a tear at the amazing song playing before him. America was safe from all the dangers that had tried to take it down, and it was all thanks to the Hulkster! But little did he know, a short middle aged man, who liked America just about as much as he did, was shuffling over towards him.
    The man shuffled towards Hogan with a league of trashcans swarming behind him. He made it to Hogan and he quickly pointed at him. "It's you!" he shouted. The Hulkster turned his head and didn't see anyone! "Huh? Who said that?" Hogan asked. "Down here!" The Trashman shouted. Hulk Hogan looked down and there he saw The Trashman! "Woah, you're a tiny little
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Literature
DEATH BATTLE Hercule VS Rocky: FIGHT

PRELUDE HERE DWEEBS:

BRICKHEAD: Alright! We all ready for this?
CLETUS: Hell yeah, LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!
MAX: Alright the combatants are set it's time to settle this debate once and for all.
CLETUS: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!
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    Rocky Balboa was simply sitting on the couch in his apartment, with his wife Adrian, watching TV. He had just won his rematch with Apollo Creed, and was feeling pretty good about himself. Not only did he go the distance with Apollo yet again, proving that his first time wasn't a fluke, but he also defeated the champion of the world! Life was good, and now he could rest in the comfort of his home. However after flipping through some of the channels on the TV he came across someone talking about him.
    On the TV was a man with an afro, some sideburns, and a mustache. Next to him was a man with a microphon
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Literature
DBX: Ash Williams VS Skeletor

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
    In Castle Grayskull a booming evil cackle was heard. Inside the skeletal castle was the bony lord of evil himself, Skeletor! With the unconscious body of He-Man in front of him. He-Man had failed this day. The skeletal being held his staff in the sky as he began to speak in his raspy voice. "NYEH! Finally I have defeated my mortal enemy after all these years! Now nobody can stop the mighty Skeletor!" Skeletor shouted before cackling once more. In the same room, Man At Arms, Teela, and Orko watched in fear at the might of Skeletor. If He-Man couldn't stop him, who could?
    As Skeletor laughed he heard thunder strike the ground, and suddenly the wind that had been blowing through the windows of the castle were now blowing much harder. Skeletor halted his laughter as he turned around to see a portal was being summo
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Zero Productivity 14 by Tyrranux Zero Productivity 14 :icontyrranux:Tyrranux 7 1
Literature
Rocky Balboa is gonna fly in DEATH BATTLE
Rocky Balboa
First Appearance: Rocky
AKA: The Italian Stallion, Rockhead, Rock

Affiliation: Boxer
Likes: Boxing, Turtles, Adrian, Telling Jokes

Theme Song:

Feats:
- Thanks to his nickname, was given the chance to fight against Apollo in the ring of The World Heavyweight Championship
- Fought and if it weren't for the time running out would have won the match against Apollo
- After going the distance with Apollo became a celebrity and worldwide hero
- Married Adrian after recovering from his fight with Apollo
- Got Adrian pregnant due to never wearing a condom 
- After Apollo insulted him over the media he finally fought Apollo in a rematch, and successfully defeated him to become the new World Heavyweight Champion
- Won a series of title defenses, traveling to places like Europe and defeating their champs (Rocky 3)
- Got in a draw with Thunderlips (Hulk Hogan), a wrestler, despite Micke
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One Minute Melee CHARACTER SELECT by MaxFunnies2550 One Minute Melee CHARACTER SELECT :iconmaxfunnies2550:MaxFunnies2550 4 5
Literature
DEATH BATTLE Pac-Man VS Staypuft FIGHT

Brickhead: Alright the combatants are set it's time to settle this debate once and for all.
Cletus: ITS TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!
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"Choose the form of the Destructor."

"Oh, I get it. I get it. Oh, very cute. Whatever we think of. If we think of J. Edgar Hoover...J. Edgar Hoover will appear and destroy us, so empty your heads. Don't think of anything. We've only got one shot at this." Peter Vinkman said

"The choice is made. The Traveler has come."

"Woah! Nobody choosed anything!" Vinkman shouted at Gozer. Peter then pointed to Egon and asked "Did you choose anything!?" "No!" Egon said. Peter then pointed to Winston and asked "Did you?" Which Winston replied with "My mind is blank." Peter then pointed to himself and shouted "I didn't choose anything!" But just then they noticed there was one person who hadn't answered. Ray. The three turned to Ray expecting an answer. "...I couldn't
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Literature
DEATH BATTLE Pac-Man VS Staypuft Prelude
Brickhead: What is it with giant monsters!? They go around causing havoc on the poor civilians of whatever city they find themselves in.
Max: Maybe they're pissed off or maybe they're just hungry.
Cletus: Pac-Man the cherry chomping Pac-Person
Max: And the Staypuft Marshmallow Man
Cletus: He's Brickhead that's Max and I'm Cletus
Brickhead: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win a DEATH BATTLE.

Pac-Man
AKA: Paccums, Paccy, Super Pac-Man, Pac, The Pacster
First Appearance: Pac-Man (1980)
Age: Unknown (Varies in different games/incarnations)
Occupation: Student, Professor/Teacher, Protector of Power Pellet Forest, Local protector from ghosts
Affiliation: Pac-Family, PPS (Power Pellet Security)
Likes: Food, Eating, Eating Ghosts, Ms. Pac-Man, His Family, Go-Karting, Football, and Golf
Theme song:


Feats:
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Literature
Marvin the Martian invades DEATH BATTLE!

Marvin the Martian:
-First Appearance: Haredevil Hare (1948)
-Aliases: X-2

-Age: Over 2000 years old

-Theme:

Powers & Abilities

Toon Force:
-Can constantly break the laws of physics with some light reality warping.
-Gives him enhanced physical attributes/abilities.
-Any injuries or damage suffered to his body quickly heal off screen.
-Hammer Space: Can pull objects/weapons out of nowhere.

-Can breathe/talk in space.
-Can get stretched, flattened, mangled, and twisted and be totally fine afterwards.

-After having everything but his feet and helmet disintegrated by his own pistol, his feet were able to walk around/function until he found a "Re-Integrator" chamber so he could come back together.
-Has been ground into powder and stu
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Activity


Here’s something I do when I’m really bored at work: think of the first two random characters that pop into my head and try to figure out who wins. It could be considering practice for debating/determining VS matches. Who knows? So, anyways, it’s now a tournament. Because. Apologies if any of the logic is flawed. It’s not a sound process, it’s just late night bullshitting.

PART 1

PIKACHU (Pokemon) beat BATMAN (DC)
REASONS: Faster, stronger(!), outputs more electricity than Batman can handle. Granted, Batman does have an electrical component to his suit, but it’s on the level of a tazer. Plus, what if it gets in his mouth? What about that, smart guy?

ROBOCOP beat HARRY POTTER
REASONS: Faster, stronger, more durable, guns are quicker and more precise than a wand. Plus the killing curse would have no effect on a being mostly made of machinery and dead tissue.

RONALD MCDONALD beat THE DOCTOR (Doctor Who)
REASONS: Doctor's lack of direct experience with magic, plus not being the kind of person who would try to use time travel tricks to defeat an opponent like this, since it would fuck with the timestream.

CARMEN SANDIEGO beat THE KOOL-AID MAN
REASONS: No reason to believe she can't just steal the Kool-Aid Man like she does to big-ass monuments all the time. Then she’ll put him on the sun. She has space travel amongst her abilities, and there’s no reason to believe that even if the Kool-Aid Man could survive that, that he has a method of escape.

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG beat the living FUCK out of ADOLPH HITLER
REASONS: Hitler is a real-life historical person with no supernatural powers or gadgets. Even if it's one of the versions that does have those, use Archie Sonic, and wank him to high Heaven if you have to. I am not handing a win to goddamn Hitler. Plus, admit it, the image of Sonic the Hedgehog beating the living FUCK out of Adolph Hitler is an entertaining one to envision.

KERMIT THE FROG (The Muppets) beat GEORGE WASHINGTON
REASONS: Kermit the Frog can survive the vacuum of space, has a modern-style gun, and can survive attacks from Miss Piggy, who can bend steel. George Washington has, at best, a bayonet or a musket, and normal human physical attributes, maybe worse, what with the wooden teeth and lack of modern medicine.

COUNT DRACULA (Castlevania) beat SON-GOKU (Dragon Ball)
REASONS: The version I’m using is the Castlevania one, since his abilities seem the most concrete in my mind. That said, Castlevania is stupidly OP. Like Multiversal and all that. Plus, can ki be detected in an undead entity? I’mma just say Dracula.

JOHNNY BRAVO beat DANNY TANNER (Full House)
REASONS: Johnny Bravo is a buff dude whose bicep is the size of Danny Tanner’s head, at the very least. Yes, he gets his ass kicked by every woman he meets, but these are women that can lift a grown man up in the air and throw him down to the ground. He lives in a society where every woman is Wonder Woman, basically. Danny Tanner, despite technically living in the same universe as Steve Urkel, has never encountered anything substantially out of the norm for real life, or, at the very least, the laws of physics. Plus, I don’t even think the later “edgy” Bob Saget could stand a chance.

LISA SIMPSON (The Simpsons) beat MR. BUCKET
REASONS: Mr. Bucket has no incentive to pursue Lisa, since Lisa Simpson has no balls, as handily demonstrated here: 68.media.tumblr.com/6cdd3b9bee… Don’t worry, nothing explicit is shown, it’s just words on a screencap of the Simpsons. But anyways, there’s really nothing stopping her from just tipping the stupid thing over. Hopefully before he gets word of Homer or Bart being around...

MULDER & SCULLY (X-Files) beat ALF
REASONS: They’re basically experts at catching aliens, and ALF would not be the most intimidating one they’ve encountered, to say the least. He may have been a security guard on Melmac, but so what? I’m a security guard, currently. Nothing goddamn happens. It’s boring. I don’t even have a gun. Mulder & Scully have guns. They could cap me, and they could cap ALF. ALF may have a salami stick, which is just the ticket for those nasty bats, but not for FBI agents.

SUPERMAN beat POPEYE
REASONS: Popeye’s ridiculous, but the highest level feat of his that I am aware of is giving the sun a black-eye. Superman, even Post-Crisis, can handle multiple supernovae at once. It’d be a sight to see, but ultimately, I think it’s Superman.

MR. MEESEEKS (Rick & Morty) beat ALBUS DUMBLEDORE (Harry Potter)
REASONS: If Mr. Meeseeks is given the goal of “kill Albus Dumbledore”, he will eventually succeed. Even if it was Voldemort, he’d probably go and find all the Horcruxes and such. Snape killed Dumbledore, and I don’t think it seemed that hard. Plus, like I said, something with a gun could probably kill the average Harry Potter wizard, especially a really old one who kind of wants to die.

JESUS CHRIST beat JOSEPH STALIN
REASONS: Jesus has numerous abilities, but something you may not have thought of, in terms of combat application, is turning water into wine. The amount of water in an adult human’s body is 50%-65%. A blood alcohol level of just 0.45% is fatal. I know Russians are well-known for drinking (mostly vodka), but still. Joseph Stalin, in spite of USSR propaganda, is a mere mortal. If it really comes down to it, Jesus can infinitely resurrect, and also do the other thing I said.

MARIO beat THE TERMINATOR
REASONS: Mario is even further from the abilities of a normal human than Sarah Connor or Kyle Reese were, plus, at least in the form of Metal Mario, he can survive molten lava, which is more than I can say for the T-800.

TOHRU (Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid) beat GEORGE W. BUSH
REASONS: Fire-breathing dragon girl who can evaporate all the clouds in the air. Normal-ass human. You know the drill.

DIO BRANDO (JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure) beat THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE
REASONS: I’m pretty sure just dropping a steamroller on him alone would severely impede Thomas, let alone Dio’s other abilities.

PART 2

PIKACHU beat ROBOCOP
REASONS: Although I do prefer Robocop (just a bit more), Pikachu is again, too fast for the dude, and that amount of electricity would most likely fuck with him.

CARMEN SANDIEGO beat RONALD MCDONALD
REASONS: Unlike the Doctor, she most likely would think to do something like “go back in time and kill him as a baby” or “make sure McDonald’s never gets founded as a company in the first place so that Ronald McDonald has no reason to exist.” She’s a criminal. She doesn’t care. Don’t get in her way.

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG beat KERMIT THE FROG
REASONS: Sad to say, pretty much any major version of Sonic surpasses Kermit in strength, speed, durability, etc. Any factor that matters, Kermit can’t measure up. :(

COUNT DRACULA beat JOHNNY BRAVO
REASONS: Do you really think Johnny’s smart enough to pull this off? He does resemble the Captain N version of Simon Belmont, but let’s be real, folks. Dracula literally roasts him.

MULDER & SCULLY (barely) apprehend LISA SIMPSON
REASONS: Unlike most of the characters on this list, these two have met before, since Mulder & Scully, voiced by the original actors, were featured prominently in an episode of the Simpsons. That said, while I don’t think it’s in their nature to beat up a little girl, even if her skin and hair are the same thing, there’s not much she could do if they just handcuffed her or something. Granted, there are versions of Lisa that have superpowers, but this is in video games or Treehouse of Horror-type stuff. Not canon. Bart never actually versus-ed the Space Mutants, never mind Lisa.

MR. MEESEEKS (eventually) beats SUPERMAN
REASONS: This is a war of attrition, almost. But there is a Rick & Morty short where Meeseeks becomes “Singularity Meeseeks” or some such, and basically it destroys the universe. Unless it’s Superman-Prime, or the Superman Thought Robot, he most likely is not surviving that. I’m not even sure if Pre-Crisis Superman could survive it.

JESUS CHRIST (might?) beat MARIO
REASONS: Look, I don’t really want to say “Mario beats Jesus”. I shouldn’t have even brought Jesus into this in the first place. I don’t know if Mario has the same type of innards as a normal human. I do know they both have extra lives. :V But anyways, Jesus can also clone an infinite amount of food, which could mean that He could take Mario’s mushroom, and make Himself so big that He would literally stomp Mario. Sure. Plus, He’s God.

DIO BRANDO beat TOHRU
REASONS: Poor girl never saw it coming. Literally. I think Dio’s faster than her, plus he can stop time. Nothing fancy to say here.


PART 3

CARMEN SANDIEGO beat PIKACHU
REASONS: If Team Rocket can manage to catch Pikachu once, and Pikachu has been forced against its will into a Pokeball before, who is to say that Carmen Sandiego cannot accomplish the same things, as a master thief who often specializes in seemingly impossible heists? Plus she can steal talent, and this is a shockingly (heh) similar concept to TM/HM moves in Pokemon, what with Pokemon “forgetting” how to do this such move, but instead learning this new move! What happens if Pikachu forgets ALL of its moves? What then? Even with Ash around, it’s not like he’s some sort of mental giant. Plus he failed to stop Pikachu from getting stolen before. In fact, only Pikachu ever put the effort into not having Team Rocket steal him. And the lightning won’t be a deterrent. It seems to not put Ash, Jesse, or James into much harm afterwards. Carmen has all the time in the world, anyways, and can probably just travel around and steal knowledge-bases on all of Pokemon. She might catch Mewtwo itself, even. Or Arceus.

You can really tell my logic is great.

COUNT DRACULA beat SONIC THE HEDGEHOG
REASONS: I just simply can’t picture how Sonic beats the Castlevania Dracula. A multiversal entity that orders around even Death itself. Outskirts Battledome (okay-ish source?) says his speed is Infinite/Instantaneous. This is ri-godamn-diculous. Looks like Sonic is too slow here.

MULDER & SCULLY confiscate THE MEESEEKS BOX and turn it over to THE MEN IN BLACK
REASONS: Supreme bullshit logic here. Someone I just said beats Superman loses to two mere mortals. They probably know about Rick and all his doodads, though. The moment he pulls the Meeseeks box out, they snatch it before he does anything with it. Meaning no Mr. Meeseeks. Either they do what I said first, or Rick might kill them afterwards, but either way, it’s not a Meeseeks win. Meesseeks wasn’t here. I just don’t want all of these to be “Mr. Meeseeks, go kill (insert name here).” “Oooooh, can doooooo!”

JESUS CHRIST beat DIO BRANDO
REASONS: Holy items generally defeat vampires. Crosses, holy water, all that stuff. Jesus is literally that, but as a person. Just being around Dio would probably kill Dio. “Holy diver, you’ve down too long in the midnight sea!” (I guess saying “holy” and “Dio” made me have to quote that) Plus, doesn’t Jesus exist in JoJo’s? Wasn’t he the first Stand user or something?

PART 4

CARMEN SANDIEGO beat COUNT DRACULA
REASONS: Carmen is a worldly (universe-ly?) person. She almost certainly knows all about Dracula and what his weaknesses are. Just throw Holy Water, crosses, garlic bread, wooden stakes, and solar panels at the dude. Sure.

JESUS CHRIST beat MULDER & SCULLY
REASONS: Really, this is the ultimate test of faith in the incredible. But again, water to wine. Mulder and Scully, for all their supernatural expertise, are still human. So they’d die. I don’t think Jesus can be shot either, unless he allowed it to be so. But he probably wouldn’t get shot for our sins.

FINAL BATTLE

CARMEN SANDIEGO VS JESUS CHRIST
WHO WINS?
This is a really tough decision. Jesus can essentially affect anything in the human body, with His ability to cure disease, and again, the whole “water-to-wine = fatal alcohol poisoning” thing I’ve devised. Carmen Sandiego is capable of stealing abstract concepts and other impossible things, including language, math, health, science, the Milky Way galaxy, the Ozone Layer, every face of George Washington on the dollar bill that ever has or will exist, musical talent…

I don’t think you really want me to say she beats Jesus Christ. What this comes down to is that Jesus is the mortal embodiment of God that’s supposed to be here on Earth in closed periods of time, as far as I can tell. I could say that crucifixion proves He has limits, but considering that He can revive as much as He is so inclined, and, much like fellow Christmas icon Frosty the Snowman, He’ll be back again some day, I believe that this is a self-imposed limit. Jesus = God. God can do whatever the Heaven (because Hell’s not appropo) He wants. If Carmen Sandiego tries her hax bullshit on God...if she tries to HEIST GOD...she’s going to just get struck down with lightning. If push comes to shove, she will know His name is the Lord when He lays his vengeance upon her. And that’s the bottom line.

WINNER: JESUS CHRIST! As in, “Jesus Christ, this was goofy!”

If you liked this...you’re as bad as I am. But still, if the Hunger Games things can be successful, sure, why not? If you wanna see another thing like this, or do one of your own, go right ahead. Even tag me if you like.
CLAIM: Deadpool VS SCUD
This template was made by :iconmaxfunnies2550: so credit to him.

After Pan-Pizza pointed out their similarities and differences in his most recent video, I immediately wanted to claim this as an actual fight! PS: yes I'll return to writing fights soon...

MaxFunnies2550
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Err...Simulator, I mean.

So, a long time ago, I did my own Hunger Game Simulator...games, and unfortunately, they’re a bit too disorganized to post here or anywhere else. But I am reusing all the previous game champions, and one tag-team that I liked from a game that’s almost entirely lost. So, to briefly introduce them, here are the veterans…
Shrek, Indiana Jones, Michael Jordan, the Noid, Danny Devito, Master Chief, Chun-Li, Slimer, ALF, Steve Jobs, moldy oranges/good oranges (the lost tag-team!)

Many mighty figures have fallen before them, ranging from a ton of Marvel and DC superheroes and villains, other celebrities, kaiju, video game characters, cartoon characters, historical figures, and even minor memes like BonziBuddy, “Mega Milk”, and even “funny dog eat a pepsi”. Truly the most tragic loss of them all...

BUT ANYWAYS! Their next challenge will be a mixed bag of them up against a variety of eclectic figures from deviantArt Death Battles and YouTube VS debating, including yours truly. Also a tag team of one of them and a certain NEW fictional character...because I’m a joik. Here is our starting line-up!

District 1: Danny DeVito and Slimer
District 2: Ducko and Marshall
District 3: Michael Jordan and Chun-Li
District 4: ALF and Butter Samuri
District 5: Indiana Jones and Josiah
District 6: Master Chief and Ribbit
District 7: Hero and Young
District 8: DoctorMoo and Yang Xiao Long
District 9: Moldy oranges and good oranges
District 10: Shrek and the Noid
District 11: Steve Jobs and TeenGohanFighter
District 12: Ben Singer and DJTiki

4 people narrowly avoided the random number generation that got them on this list. Consider yourselves lucky, I suppose. Though the CVC and DoctorMoo teams were already set beforehand. :V As for the returnees, oranges was set, and I mostly went off of what district those characters were in previously, moving them down one or two if they didn’t fit.

Anyways, let us begin!

THE BLOODBATH
As the tributes stand on their podiums, the horn sounds.

TeenGohan Fighter runs away from the Cornucopia.

Danny DeVito runs away from the Cornucopia.

Yang Xiao Long finds a bow, some arrows, and a quiver.

The Noid retrieves a trident from inside the cornucopia. (Avoid the Noid, as per usual)

DoctorMoo runs away from the Cornucopia.

Hero runs away from the Cornucopia.

Steve Jobs runs away from the Cornucopia.

ALF runs away from the Cornucopia.

Shrek finds a canteen full of water.

Indiana Jones runs away from the Cornucopia.

Ducko runs away from the Cornucopia.

good oranges runs away from the Cornucopia.

Young runs away from the Cornucopia.

Marshall grabs a shield leaning on the cornucopia.

Josiah snatches a pair of sais. (Josiah, you ain’t no Raphael)

Ribbit and Michael Jordan threaten a double suicide. It fails and they die. (JFC...poor Ribbit...as for Michael Jordan, how the mighty have fallen)

Chun-Li finds a canteen full of water.

Ben Singer runs away from the Cornucopia.

Slimer and Butter Samuri fight for a bag. Butter Samuri gives up and retreats. (Don’t fight ghosts, kids.)

DJTiki grabs a jar of fishing bait while Master Chief gets fishing gear. (Is there even fish in Halo?)

Moldy oranges runs away from the Cornucopia. (Sure is a lot of running)

DAY 2
Master Chief tries to spear fish with a trident. (I thought you had fishing gear, you robotic bastard! :P)

Shrek chases Ducko. (Scary thought...)

Young questions his sanity. (Normally I’d say “This early?”, but I fully understand why in this case.)

Danny DeVito sprains his ankle while running away from Ben Singer.

Moldy oranges receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.

DoctorMoo practices his archery.

ALF and Josiah work together for the day.

Slimer tries to sleep through the entire day.

The Noid tries to sleep through the entire day.

TeenGohan Fighter sprains his ankle while running away from Steve Jobs.

Marshall tries to sleep through the entire day.

Hero unknowingly eats toxic berries. (Owie...stomach ache…)

Yang Xiao Long sets an explosive off, killing Indiana Jones, Chun-Li, DJTiki and good oranges. (Jesus, Yang…)

Butter Samuri tries to sleep through the entire day. (Sure is a lot of sleeping.)

Fallen Tributes Part 1
Ribbit
District 6

Michael Jordan
District 3

Hero
District 7

Indiana Jones
District 5

Chun-Li
District 3

DJTiki
District 12

good oranges
District 9

(RIP in peace to all of you...good oranges, you were too good for this world…)

NIGHT 1
Marshall tries to treat his infection.

Shrek receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.

Moldy oranges thinks about winning. (Do it for good oranges!)

Yang Xiao Long and TeenGohan Fighter sleep in shifts.

Danny DeVito, Ducko, and DoctorMoo sleep in shifts.

Young and Steve Jobs run into each other and decide to truce for the night.

ALF forces Master Chief to kill Butter Samuri or The Noid. He refuses to kill, so ALF kills him instead. (The one alien Master Chief couldn’t beat…)

Ben Singer kills Josiah with a hatchet. (JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, BEN! ...that said, Josiah is not especially popular, but still, this is brutal!)

Slimer sets up camp for the night.

DAY 2
Moldy oranges diverts Yang Xiao Long's attention and runs away.

Danny DeVito receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor.

Steve Jobs attacks Marshall, but he manages to escape. (Get away safely, Marshall!)

Butter Samuri runs away from DoctorMoo.

Young hunts for other tributes.

Slimer receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor.

Ducko constructs a shack. (It’s the Duck Shack...sorry…)

Ben Singer convinces TeenGohan Fighter to not kill him, only to kill him instead. (Fuckin’ brutal Ben...at least he’s picking off the ones people don’t like, but still!)

The Noid defeats Shrek in a fight, but spares his life. (Weren’t they in the same district? Still, I guess the Noid can be merciful.)

ALF travels to higher ground.

Fallen Tributes Part 2
3 cannon shots can be heard in the distance.

Master Chief
District 6

Josiah
District 5

TeenGohan Fighter
District 11

(Looking at who’s been knocked out so far, Districts 3, 5, and 6 can’t win this. They are completely knocked out.)

NIGHT 2
Butter Samuri, Ben Singer, and Yang Xiao Long cheerfully sing songs together. (Little does Butter know of Ben and Yang’s absolute blood lust.)

DoctorMoo, Danny DeVito, and Steve Jobs sleep in shifts.

Slimer fends Moldy oranges, Young, and ALF away from his fire.

The Noid tries to treat his infection.

Shrek, Marshall, and Ducko cheerfully sing songs together. (I know for a fact that neither of us would be this chummy with Shrek...especially not Marshall.)

DAY 3
Butter Samuri sees smoke rising in the distance, but decides not to investigate.

Danny DeVito practices his archery.

Slimer thinks about home.

Yang Xiao Long searches for a water source.

DoctorMoo and ALF work together for the day.

Steve Jobs repeatedly stabs Shrek to death with sais. (Shrek falls before the might of the cool but rude Apple ghost.)

Marshall chases Young. (I don’t know what kind of joke to put here.)

The Noid spears Ducko in the abdomen. (I should have avoided him!)

Ben Singer searches for firewood.

Moldy oranges constructs a shack. (Quite a feat for moldy oranges to accomplish.)

Fallen Tributes Part 3
2 cannon shots can be heard in the distance.

Shrek
District 10

Ducko
District 2

(This is what I get for singing with him.)

NIGHT 3
Butter Samuri tries to treat his infection.

Danny DeVito and Ben Singer huddle for warmth.

Slimer and Yang Xiao Long sleep in shifts.

DoctorMoo receives fresh food from an unknown sponsor.

Steve Jobs loses sight of where he is.

The Noid stays awake all night. (I mean, he just killed me, so he better feel guilty.)

Young receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.

Moldy oranges kills Marshall with his own weapon. (I am conflicted...the oranges are my favorite team, but MARSHALL NOOOOOOOOO)

ALF loses sight of where he is.

DAY 4
Danny DeVito runs away from Steve Jobs.

Ben Singer practices his archery.

The Noid makes a wooden spear.

DoctorMoo collects fruit from a tree.

Yang Xiao Long overhears Young and Butter Samuri talking in the distance.

Slimer accidently steps on a landmine. (How does a ghost...never mind…)

ALF and Moldy oranges work together for the day.

Fallen Tributes Part 4
2 cannon shots can be heard in the distance.

Marshall
District 2

Slimer
District 1

(CVC’s only hope is Young!)

NIGHT 4
ALF attempts to start a fire, but is unsuccessful.

The Noid lets Young into his shelter.

Moldy oranges and Butter Samuri huddle for warmth. (Swiggity swooty, Butter’s coming for the...oranges…)

Yang Xiao Long, Ben Singer, and DoctorMoo get into a fight. Yang Xiao Long triumphantly kills them both. (Yang to Ben: “Nobody can kill more than me! Nobody!” As for DoctorMoo...how ironic…)

Steve Jobs thinks about home.

Danny DeVito receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.

THE FEAST
The cornucopia is replenished with food, supplies, weapons, and memoirs from the tributes' families.

Steve Jobs decides not to go to The Feast.

Yang Xiao Long decides not to go to The Feast.

Danny DeVito decides not to go to The Feast.

Butter Samuri, ALF, The Noid, and Moldy oranges team up to grab food, supplies, weapons, and memoirs.

Young decides not to go to The Feast.

(All in all, not very exciting…)

DAY 5
Moldy oranges defeats Danny DeVito in a fight, but spares his life. (Good on ya, oranges)

Steve Jobs explores the arena.

ALF makes a wooden spear.

Young stalks The Noid. (Young, rather than avoiding the Noid, chooses to embrace not avoiding him a little too much.)

Yang Xiao Long chases Butter Samuri. (WATCH OUT, BUTTER!)

Fallen Tributes Part 5
2 cannon shots can be heard in the distance.

Ben Singer
District 12

DoctorMoo
District 8

(All because of Yang...Yang is brutal!)

NIGHT 5
Young is awoken by nightmares. (Again, I do not blame you.)

Steve Jobs and Danny DeVito run into each other and decide to truce for the night.

The Noid stays awake all night.

ALF begs for Butter Samuri to kill him. He refuses, keeping ALF alive. (“Ha, I kill me! Actually...please kill me! PLEASE!”)

Yang Xiao Long and Moldy oranges sleep in shifts.

DAY 6
ALF attacks Butter Samuri, but he manages to escape. (Butter’s ALF issues continue. “A salami stick! Just the ticket for those nasty bats!”)

The Noid practices his archery.

Young sprains his ankle while running away from Danny DeVito.

Yang Xiao Long, Steve Jobs, and Moldy oranges get into a fight. Moldy oranges triumphantly kills them both. (Yang’s reign of terror ends! And Moldy oranges continues on! :D I’m no DoctorMoo, but Yang was very murderous, and Moldy oranges is my hero!)

Fallen Tributes Part 6
2 cannon shots can be heard in the distance.

Yang Xiao Long
District 8

Steve Jobs
District 11

NIGHT 6
Young fends Danny DeVito, Butter Samuri, and Moldy oranges away from his fire.

The Noid is awoken by nightmares.

ALF stays awake all night.

(Somewhat uneventful, but all still morbidly amusing to imagine.)

DAY 7
ALF runs away from Butter Samuri.

Young tries to sleep through the entire day.

Moldy oranges receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.

Danny DeVito steals from The Noid while he isn't looking.

(No murder or death...so I’m skipping the Fallen Tributes crap)

NIGHT 7
ALF thinks about winning.

Young quietly hums.

Moldy oranges cooks her food before putting her fire out.

Danny DeVito kills The Noid with a sickle. (“QUIT RUININ’ MY GADDAM PIZZAS!”)

Butter Samuri dies from an infection. (He had the Avian Bat Flu)

DAY 8
Danny DeVito makes a slingshot.

ALF accidently detonates a land mine while trying to arm it. (Stupid cat-eating puppet…)

Young steals from Moldy oranges while she isn't looking.

Fallen Tributes Part 8 (Because death actually happened)
3 cannon shots can be heard in the distance.
The Noid
District 10

Butter Samuri
District 4

ALF
District 4

NIGHT 8
Danny DeVito, Moldy oranges, and Young sleep in shifts.

(What else can you do, really?)

DAY 9
Young and Danny DeVito split up to search for resources.

Moldy oranges searches for a water source.

DAY 10
Moldy oranges accidently detonates a land mine while trying to arm it.

Danny DeVito falls into a frozen lake and drowns.

(To both of these...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!)

The winner is Young from District 7!

(Congrats, Young, you’re like Luigi...you won by doing NOTHING!)

Anyways, apologies to :iconmaxfunnies2550:, :iconbuttersamuri:, :iconribbitheatre:, :iconherooftheemblem:, :iconyoungsamurai18: (even though you won!), :icondoctormoodb:, and all of the other people who either don't have accounts here or I just dun't wanna tag them...I was almost scared to tag Moo, TBH. 
Zone-tan JUS
Yes, it's her. Basis is mostly Rukia, with a bunch of tweaking/obvious Zone-tan details added, and one arm from Nico Robin also edited. Also the shade of purple from Arale. I like pallete accuracy if I can. :D Full sheet may or may not be a possibility.

If you don't know her, don't look her up at school or work.
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deviantID

totalgymvssonic
Classified info
United States
Favourite genre of music: Theme songs
Favourite photographer: I don't really follow photography
Favourite style of art: I like all sorts of styles, ranging from 50s to anime.
Operating System: Microsoft Windows XP on several PCs, though not usually by choice, and Vista
MP3 player of choice: I don't give a rat's.
Wallpaper of choice: NOTHING
Favourite cartoon character: I have way too many...and it changes. I like Muppets and classic video game characters as well...
Personal Quote: "This time, it's personal."
Interests
Here’s something I do when I’m really bored at work: think of the first two random characters that pop into my head and try to figure out who wins. It could be considering practice for debating/determining VS matches. Who knows? So, anyways, it’s now a tournament. Because. Apologies if any of the logic is flawed. It’s not a sound process, it’s just late night bullshitting.

PART 1

PIKACHU (Pokemon) beat BATMAN (DC)
REASONS: Faster, stronger(!), outputs more electricity than Batman can handle. Granted, Batman does have an electrical component to his suit, but it’s on the level of a tazer. Plus, what if it gets in his mouth? What about that, smart guy?

ROBOCOP beat HARRY POTTER
REASONS: Faster, stronger, more durable, guns are quicker and more precise than a wand. Plus the killing curse would have no effect on a being mostly made of machinery and dead tissue.

RONALD MCDONALD beat THE DOCTOR (Doctor Who)
REASONS: Doctor's lack of direct experience with magic, plus not being the kind of person who would try to use time travel tricks to defeat an opponent like this, since it would fuck with the timestream.

CARMEN SANDIEGO beat THE KOOL-AID MAN
REASONS: No reason to believe she can't just steal the Kool-Aid Man like she does to big-ass monuments all the time. Then she’ll put him on the sun. She has space travel amongst her abilities, and there’s no reason to believe that even if the Kool-Aid Man could survive that, that he has a method of escape.

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG beat the living FUCK out of ADOLPH HITLER
REASONS: Hitler is a real-life historical person with no supernatural powers or gadgets. Even if it's one of the versions that does have those, use Archie Sonic, and wank him to high Heaven if you have to. I am not handing a win to goddamn Hitler. Plus, admit it, the image of Sonic the Hedgehog beating the living FUCK out of Adolph Hitler is an entertaining one to envision.

KERMIT THE FROG (The Muppets) beat GEORGE WASHINGTON
REASONS: Kermit the Frog can survive the vacuum of space, has a modern-style gun, and can survive attacks from Miss Piggy, who can bend steel. George Washington has, at best, a bayonet or a musket, and normal human physical attributes, maybe worse, what with the wooden teeth and lack of modern medicine.

COUNT DRACULA (Castlevania) beat SON-GOKU (Dragon Ball)
REASONS: The version I’m using is the Castlevania one, since his abilities seem the most concrete in my mind. That said, Castlevania is stupidly OP. Like Multiversal and all that. Plus, can ki be detected in an undead entity? I’mma just say Dracula.

JOHNNY BRAVO beat DANNY TANNER (Full House)
REASONS: Johnny Bravo is a buff dude whose bicep is the size of Danny Tanner’s head, at the very least. Yes, he gets his ass kicked by every woman he meets, but these are women that can lift a grown man up in the air and throw him down to the ground. He lives in a society where every woman is Wonder Woman, basically. Danny Tanner, despite technically living in the same universe as Steve Urkel, has never encountered anything substantially out of the norm for real life, or, at the very least, the laws of physics. Plus, I don’t even think the later “edgy” Bob Saget could stand a chance.

LISA SIMPSON (The Simpsons) beat MR. BUCKET
REASONS: Mr. Bucket has no incentive to pursue Lisa, since Lisa Simpson has no balls, as handily demonstrated here: 68.media.tumblr.com/6cdd3b9bee… Don’t worry, nothing explicit is shown, it’s just words on a screencap of the Simpsons. But anyways, there’s really nothing stopping her from just tipping the stupid thing over. Hopefully before he gets word of Homer or Bart being around...

MULDER & SCULLY (X-Files) beat ALF
REASONS: They’re basically experts at catching aliens, and ALF would not be the most intimidating one they’ve encountered, to say the least. He may have been a security guard on Melmac, but so what? I’m a security guard, currently. Nothing goddamn happens. It’s boring. I don’t even have a gun. Mulder & Scully have guns. They could cap me, and they could cap ALF. ALF may have a salami stick, which is just the ticket for those nasty bats, but not for FBI agents.

SUPERMAN beat POPEYE
REASONS: Popeye’s ridiculous, but the highest level feat of his that I am aware of is giving the sun a black-eye. Superman, even Post-Crisis, can handle multiple supernovae at once. It’d be a sight to see, but ultimately, I think it’s Superman.

MR. MEESEEKS (Rick & Morty) beat ALBUS DUMBLEDORE (Harry Potter)
REASONS: If Mr. Meeseeks is given the goal of “kill Albus Dumbledore”, he will eventually succeed. Even if it was Voldemort, he’d probably go and find all the Horcruxes and such. Snape killed Dumbledore, and I don’t think it seemed that hard. Plus, like I said, something with a gun could probably kill the average Harry Potter wizard, especially a really old one who kind of wants to die.

JESUS CHRIST beat JOSEPH STALIN
REASONS: Jesus has numerous abilities, but something you may not have thought of, in terms of combat application, is turning water into wine. The amount of water in an adult human’s body is 50%-65%. A blood alcohol level of just 0.45% is fatal. I know Russians are well-known for drinking (mostly vodka), but still. Joseph Stalin, in spite of USSR propaganda, is a mere mortal. If it really comes down to it, Jesus can infinitely resurrect, and also do the other thing I said.

MARIO beat THE TERMINATOR
REASONS: Mario is even further from the abilities of a normal human than Sarah Connor or Kyle Reese were, plus, at least in the form of Metal Mario, he can survive molten lava, which is more than I can say for the T-800.

TOHRU (Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid) beat GEORGE W. BUSH
REASONS: Fire-breathing dragon girl who can evaporate all the clouds in the air. Normal-ass human. You know the drill.

DIO BRANDO (JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure) beat THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE
REASONS: I’m pretty sure just dropping a steamroller on him alone would severely impede Thomas, let alone Dio’s other abilities.

PART 2

PIKACHU beat ROBOCOP
REASONS: Although I do prefer Robocop (just a bit more), Pikachu is again, too fast for the dude, and that amount of electricity would most likely fuck with him.

CARMEN SANDIEGO beat RONALD MCDONALD
REASONS: Unlike the Doctor, she most likely would think to do something like “go back in time and kill him as a baby” or “make sure McDonald’s never gets founded as a company in the first place so that Ronald McDonald has no reason to exist.” She’s a criminal. She doesn’t care. Don’t get in her way.

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG beat KERMIT THE FROG
REASONS: Sad to say, pretty much any major version of Sonic surpasses Kermit in strength, speed, durability, etc. Any factor that matters, Kermit can’t measure up. :(

COUNT DRACULA beat JOHNNY BRAVO
REASONS: Do you really think Johnny’s smart enough to pull this off? He does resemble the Captain N version of Simon Belmont, but let’s be real, folks. Dracula literally roasts him.

MULDER & SCULLY (barely) apprehend LISA SIMPSON
REASONS: Unlike most of the characters on this list, these two have met before, since Mulder & Scully, voiced by the original actors, were featured prominently in an episode of the Simpsons. That said, while I don’t think it’s in their nature to beat up a little girl, even if her skin and hair are the same thing, there’s not much she could do if they just handcuffed her or something. Granted, there are versions of Lisa that have superpowers, but this is in video games or Treehouse of Horror-type stuff. Not canon. Bart never actually versus-ed the Space Mutants, never mind Lisa.

MR. MEESEEKS (eventually) beats SUPERMAN
REASONS: This is a war of attrition, almost. But there is a Rick & Morty short where Meeseeks becomes “Singularity Meeseeks” or some such, and basically it destroys the universe. Unless it’s Superman-Prime, or the Superman Thought Robot, he most likely is not surviving that. I’m not even sure if Pre-Crisis Superman could survive it.

JESUS CHRIST (might?) beat MARIO
REASONS: Look, I don’t really want to say “Mario beats Jesus”. I shouldn’t have even brought Jesus into this in the first place. I don’t know if Mario has the same type of innards as a normal human. I do know they both have extra lives. :V But anyways, Jesus can also clone an infinite amount of food, which could mean that He could take Mario’s mushroom, and make Himself so big that He would literally stomp Mario. Sure. Plus, He’s God.

DIO BRANDO beat TOHRU
REASONS: Poor girl never saw it coming. Literally. I think Dio’s faster than her, plus he can stop time. Nothing fancy to say here.


PART 3

CARMEN SANDIEGO beat PIKACHU
REASONS: If Team Rocket can manage to catch Pikachu once, and Pikachu has been forced against its will into a Pokeball before, who is to say that Carmen Sandiego cannot accomplish the same things, as a master thief who often specializes in seemingly impossible heists? Plus she can steal talent, and this is a shockingly (heh) similar concept to TM/HM moves in Pokemon, what with Pokemon “forgetting” how to do this such move, but instead learning this new move! What happens if Pikachu forgets ALL of its moves? What then? Even with Ash around, it’s not like he’s some sort of mental giant. Plus he failed to stop Pikachu from getting stolen before. In fact, only Pikachu ever put the effort into not having Team Rocket steal him. And the lightning won’t be a deterrent. It seems to not put Ash, Jesse, or James into much harm afterwards. Carmen has all the time in the world, anyways, and can probably just travel around and steal knowledge-bases on all of Pokemon. She might catch Mewtwo itself, even. Or Arceus.

You can really tell my logic is great.

COUNT DRACULA beat SONIC THE HEDGEHOG
REASONS: I just simply can’t picture how Sonic beats the Castlevania Dracula. A multiversal entity that orders around even Death itself. Outskirts Battledome (okay-ish source?) says his speed is Infinite/Instantaneous. This is ri-godamn-diculous. Looks like Sonic is too slow here.

MULDER & SCULLY confiscate THE MEESEEKS BOX and turn it over to THE MEN IN BLACK
REASONS: Supreme bullshit logic here. Someone I just said beats Superman loses to two mere mortals. They probably know about Rick and all his doodads, though. The moment he pulls the Meeseeks box out, they snatch it before he does anything with it. Meaning no Mr. Meeseeks. Either they do what I said first, or Rick might kill them afterwards, but either way, it’s not a Meeseeks win. Meesseeks wasn’t here. I just don’t want all of these to be “Mr. Meeseeks, go kill (insert name here).” “Oooooh, can doooooo!”

JESUS CHRIST beat DIO BRANDO
REASONS: Holy items generally defeat vampires. Crosses, holy water, all that stuff. Jesus is literally that, but as a person. Just being around Dio would probably kill Dio. “Holy diver, you’ve down too long in the midnight sea!” (I guess saying “holy” and “Dio” made me have to quote that) Plus, doesn’t Jesus exist in JoJo’s? Wasn’t he the first Stand user or something?

PART 4

CARMEN SANDIEGO beat COUNT DRACULA
REASONS: Carmen is a worldly (universe-ly?) person. She almost certainly knows all about Dracula and what his weaknesses are. Just throw Holy Water, crosses, garlic bread, wooden stakes, and solar panels at the dude. Sure.

JESUS CHRIST beat MULDER & SCULLY
REASONS: Really, this is the ultimate test of faith in the incredible. But again, water to wine. Mulder and Scully, for all their supernatural expertise, are still human. So they’d die. I don’t think Jesus can be shot either, unless he allowed it to be so. But he probably wouldn’t get shot for our sins.

FINAL BATTLE

CARMEN SANDIEGO VS JESUS CHRIST
WHO WINS?
This is a really tough decision. Jesus can essentially affect anything in the human body, with His ability to cure disease, and again, the whole “water-to-wine = fatal alcohol poisoning” thing I’ve devised. Carmen Sandiego is capable of stealing abstract concepts and other impossible things, including language, math, health, science, the Milky Way galaxy, the Ozone Layer, every face of George Washington on the dollar bill that ever has or will exist, musical talent…

I don’t think you really want me to say she beats Jesus Christ. What this comes down to is that Jesus is the mortal embodiment of God that’s supposed to be here on Earth in closed periods of time, as far as I can tell. I could say that crucifixion proves He has limits, but considering that He can revive as much as He is so inclined, and, much like fellow Christmas icon Frosty the Snowman, He’ll be back again some day, I believe that this is a self-imposed limit. Jesus = God. God can do whatever the Heaven (because Hell’s not appropo) He wants. If Carmen Sandiego tries her hax bullshit on God...if she tries to HEIST GOD...she’s going to just get struck down with lightning. If push comes to shove, she will know His name is the Lord when He lays his vengeance upon her. And that’s the bottom line.

WINNER: JESUS CHRIST! As in, “Jesus Christ, this was goofy!”

If you liked this...you’re as bad as I am. But still, if the Hunger Games things can be successful, sure, why not? If you wanna see another thing like this, or do one of your own, go right ahead. Even tag me if you like.

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:iconfernandesdamasceno:
FernandesDamasceno Featured By Owner Edited 3 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey dude, do you know what happened to MaxFunnies2550 account?
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:icontotalgymvssonic:
totalgymvssonic Featured By Owner 11 hours ago
This is late, and he's back now, but basically someone hacked/deactivated it. Max had to wait two days before reactivating it.
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:icontoongamer619:
ToonGamer619 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2017
Happy Birthday!
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:iconkiryu2012:
Kiryu2012 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2017
Happy Birthday!:iconballoonsplz::iconglompplz::iconpinkiesmileplz:
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:iconmegared225:
MegaRed225 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:cake:Happy birthday:cake:
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:icongoddragonking:
GodDragonKing Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2017
Happy birthday!
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:iconkhfan-d98:
Khfan-D98 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
Happy Birthday!!!! :D
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:iconmakin-the-werecat:
Makin-the-WereCat Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2017  Student Writer
Happy birthday! :D

Hope you're having a good one! :)
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gonzo22 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2017
Happy Birthday
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