DEATH BATTLE Fight: Batman VS Batman

AL: Okay, now we know about the Batmen, but which Batman is the better battler?

THE EYE: It’s time for a BAT BATTLE!
                                                                                                                                                                                          


Batman barreled through the darkly lit Gotham City night, racing to track down the Scarecrow and stop him from releasing his fear toxin on innocent civilians once again. But suddenly, something inexplicable happened. A bright flash of light appeared before his eyes, temporarily blinding him. The Tumbler swerved out of control for a brief period of time, but Batman shook his head and came to, regaining control of the Batmobile.

However, he briefly glanced outside the window and saw that his surroundings were different. It was daytime, and Gotham was looking much brighter than it normally was. Everything seemed way more colorful, and as Batman slowed down he saw civilians running away looking shocked and afraid, generally looking or running away from the direction of the Tumbler. These civilians seemed dressed like it was the 1960’s. What exactly was going on here?

Batman found a place on the side of the street to park, and stepped out, getting a better look at his surroundings. He heard a voice from behind him. “Finally you’ve stopped, wayward driver!” Batman turned around to see...another Batman, this one more colorful in costume, much like everything else in this world, along with two similarly colorfully dressed people, a boy and a girl, standing in front of a stylish old car. “Holy gargoyles, Batman! It’s a dark imposter Batman!” “Easy, Robin.” The other Batman held the boy and the girl back from their fighting positions. “He seemed to appear out of nowhere. We don’t know what he may be up to just yet.” “I don’t know what’s happened,” TDK Batman responded, “This is Gotham City, correct.” “Right you are, other Batman,” said 60’s Batman in return, “but what would another Batman be doing here without me knowing about them before now? Is this some kind of a plot by some fiendish villain?”


Suddenly a “Ping!” sound was heard, and a small, goofy-looking man, similarly dressed to 60’s Batman, appeared floating in mid-air. “You’re not far off, Mr. West! Allow me to introduce myself! I am Bat-Mite, the mulitverse’s biggest Bat-Fan, and I’ve brought you two Batmen together to see who is truly better: a campy caped crusader or a growling grim vigilante! This should be fun!” TDK Batman did a double take, then pressed his hand on the bridge of his nose. This day was just getting stranger and stranger, and it couldn’t just be that Scarecrow’s toxins had gotten to him.

“I want you two Batmen to fight, to the DEATH!, to prove what’s truly the way for a Batman to be!” “You blood-thirsty maniac! Why should we do such a thing?”, 60’s Batman angrily shouted at the floating man. The floating imp snapped his fingers and suddenly a vat of acid appeared in the middle of the street, that also somehow had sharks floating around in it, coming out and snapping their jaws in the air. Then  Bat-Mite snapped his fingers again to have Batgirl and Robin tied together by a rope, suspended over the vat of acid via…something. It seemed they were floating mostly by magic. “I figured you two would both need incentive. If you win, Mr. West, your two sidekicks will be freed, safe and unharmed, and if American Psycho over here wins, he gets to return home, to his Gotham City.”

“American Psycho? What does he mean by that?” TDK Batman turned to 60’s Batman and asked. “I don’t know, and he keeps calling me Mr. West, too. I’m not West, I’m Batman!” “And I’m Batman!”, TDK Batman yelled back at 60’s Batman. “So is that how it has to be?” said 60’s Batman as he turned towards Bat-Mite. “What if we refuse?” TDK Batman followed up, “I’m not a killer.” “Neither am I, fellow caped crusader.” Bat-Mite chuckled. “Well, if you really need more incentive…if you both refuse, I’ll destroy both of your universes!” Both Batmen looked shocked. Despite his odd appearance, something about him let them know he wasn’t kidding. The two Batmen faced each other, shook hands, and gulped somewhat nervously, knowing they had to do something neither of them wanted to do, not only to save themselves, their friends, and Gotham City, but two whole universes. They then stepped away from each other and got into ready stances.



TDK Batman ran towards the 60’s Batman, ready to land a punch, but the 60’s Batman quickly dodged out of the way, then followed by kicking TDK Bat in the back, with a “WHAM!” sound effect accompanying it. TDK Batman fell to the ground, but quickly got himself back up to further attack the 60’s Batman, and got in close with an array of punches, which were blocked by careful movements of 60’s Bat’s arms, then countered by a powerful punch that send TDK Batman back a few inches, complete with a “POW!” sound effect along with it.

However, TDK Batman was still close enough that he could still get at the 60’s Bat, and as such, followed through by hitting him in the chest with the spiked gauntlets on one arm, ripping 60’s Batman’s shirt and giving him three diagonal cuts on his chest. 60’s Batman held onto his chest and pulled back from TDK Batman. He ducked in between two buildings, pulled a few bandages out of his utility belt and quickly patched himself up, then quickly jumped back into the fight.

TDK Batman had taken this opportunity to pull out a few Batarangs, and now threw them at the 60’s Batman. 60’s Batman dodged out of the way of the first few, then pulled out his own Batarang and threw it, knocking away the remaining Batarangs that were coming his way, then smacking TDK Batman upside the head with a “THWAK!” before coming back to 60’s Bat’s hand. TDK Batman almost fell down again, but suddenly seemed to disappear as a smoke bomb was thrown down. 60’s Bats knew that this Batman probably couldn’t teleport by himself, and that he had to be around here somewhere…

TDK Batman dived in from behind 60’s Bats, gliding around via his cape turned hang-glider, and kicked him in the back of the head, causing the 60’s Bat to face plant onto the ground. He then flew up to the top of a store building, ready to glide back down for another attack, but 60’s Batman wouldn’t have that, as he turned around and quickly got his rope and Batarang together, then ran towards the building. He then grappled onto the side, walking up as fast as he could, then got to the top and pulled up the rope/Batarang, swung it around, then threw it and knocked TDK Batman off the building, sending him falling onto the ground.

It wasn’t a far off drop, but it was still obviously painful. 60’s Batman quickly jumped down off the building, making a decent landing, but he suddenly found that his adversary was missing. He quickly turned to see the tank-like Tumbler barreling towards him, and rolled out of the way. It seemed that TDK Batman was resorting to some kind of hit and run tactics after being beaten on. Luckily, with his own remote control, he managed to summon the Batmobile to come to him, racing and swerving around to avoid hitting the other dangerous vehicle. 60’s Bats hopped in and was ready to deal with this rampant road rage.


The Batmobile and the Tumbler chased each other throughout the city, with the Tumbler at one point using a ramp to drive up onto a building and then land back on the ground, hoping to crush the other Batman’s vehicle. Luckily, 60’s Batman swerved out of the way, continuing to drive and lead him to where he knew he could easily get what he needed to take down the darker Dark Knight. TDK Batman went up close, and readied his vehicles guns, aiming to destroy the other Batmobile. However, 60’s Bats had put up the Bulletproof Batshield, bouncing the bullets back harmlessly, for the most part. The bullets instead started hitting into the Tumbler’s window, not shattering it, but somewhat weakening the strength of its structure. On the way, they drove up and down a winding hill, which was fine for the multi-terrain dwelling Tumbler, but not as much so for the Batmobile.

They ended up finally in the middle of a large, flat area of dirt near a bunch of rocky caves, most notably the Batcave itself. TDK Batman wasn’t going to have it so well for long, unfortunately, as he foolishly decided to use the Tumbler’s missile launcher to blow up the Batmobile, unfortunately while still trailing up close to the Batmobile. The blowback from the explosion heavily damaged both of their vehicles, leading to Batman running out and escaping to the Batcave, while TDK Batman ejected from the Tumbler onto his Batpod motorcycle.

60’s Batman raced back quickly on his own Batcycle, and the two started circling each other on their motorcycles. TDK Batman shot out with the Batpod, but 60’s Bats grinded out of the way, then swerved around to knock into TDK Batman. TDK Batman almost fell off his Batpod, but turned around to get away from the Batcycle briefly. He pulled out a Pneumatic Mangler and drove back, up close and personal with the other Caped Crusader, and slashed across the Batcycle with it, creating a huge gash along one side of the vehicle. 60’s Batman tried to drive further, but the Batpod circled around him once again and TDK Bat slashed the Batcycle’s tires, causing it to no longer be able to drive. However, with the short distance between the two vehicles, 60’s Batman managed to get in a “SOCK!” punch upside TDK Bat’s jaw, causing him to fall off his own motorcycle. 60’s Batman turned off the Batcycle, then raced back to the Batcave, and not to get spare tires.

TDK Batman got up off the ground, only to look up to the sky and see that there was a Bat Helicopter flying around, and it was swooping down to get at him. He tried to get back onto his Batpod, but to no avail, as the Bat-Chopper managed to pick him up off the motorcycle, and all TDK Bat could do was hang on. He punched onto it a few times, somewhat uselessly, and Bat-Mite appeared floating right next to him. “Looks like you’re in a pickle, Dark Knight! Maybe you need some help…” “I don’t need outside interference, especially not more from you!” TDK Batman growled at the imp. “Relax, Bale, I’m only going to give you something you already had in your Gotham City.” Bat-Mite snapped his fingers and suddenly TDK Batman appeared in the flying Bat, following behind the Bat Helicopter, with Bat-Mite floating beside him. “Well, adiós, bat-migos!” Bat-Mite disappeared to let the two Batmen continue their fight.


60’s Batman planned on leading TDK Bat back to the middle of Gotham City, where Batgirl and Robin were being held captive, but TDK Batman just wanted to defeat the other Batman and get home. The Bat shot at the other flying Bat, but 60’s Batman managed to dodge out of the way of the bullets. TDK Batman figured that if precision wouldn’t work, maybe he could try something a bit more erratic. The Bat swooped down and the Bat Helicopter followed, but due to a signal let off by TDK Bat’s High Frequency Transponder, a swarm of bats rushed against the Batcopter, messing with the 60’s Bat’s vision and ability to fly the copter properly. He tried to fly up out of the bat swarm, and while they still seemed to follow, he managed to get a decent view of the flying Bat and lead him away from here, back to the main Gotham City.

They were just over Gotham now, but 60’s Batman just had to get rid of these persistent bats. “I’m sorry, my winged inspirations, but you’ve been used against me, and I’ll have to get you to go away now. This isn’t for bats, but it should still be effective.” 60’s Batman pulled out his shark repellent and sprayed at the bats, causing them to cough and gag before flying away. The bats went back home, but with the spray can still out and held by 60’s Batman, TDK saw an opportunity to get rid of 60’s Batman. TDK Bat pulled out a sticky bomb gun and shot one out at the Bat-Copter, and soon the bomb went off in a giant fireball, further expanded by the aerosol can spray. It seemed the Bat-Copter was down for good as it fell to the ground in a flaming wreckage…

…but not Batman, as he had jumped out safely, falling to the ground with a parachute, then landing and letting his parachute off the hook. TDK Batman looked down and growled, then tried to shoot down at the no-longer airborne 60’s Batman. He missed, with 60’s Batman dodging out of the way, and the 60’s Bat had an idea to get TDK Batman out of the air as well. 60’s Batman pulled out the Batzooka, and fired the harpoon gun upward, latching onto the flying Bat, and pulled the rope down. TDK Batman and his flying Bat collided with the side of a building, and he was knocked around inside, sent into his own windshield. TDK Batman turned the vehicle off, unlatched his seat belt, and jumped out down onto the ground, rolling into the 60’s Batman and knocking him down onto the sidewalk.


60’s Batman gets up and readies himself into a fighting stance, with TDK Batman soon following. 60’s Bats grabs TDK Bat by one of his longer ears and starts thwacking away into his face repeatedly with his other fist. TDK Batman tries to kick 60’s Batman off, then tries kneeing him in the stomach, but his grip is too strong. TDK Batman finally manages to make him stumble away backwards by letting off an electric shock from his suit. Despite being somewhat weary, both Batmen still rush back towards each other immediately, with TDK Batman managing to catch 60’s Batman’s fists with both hands. Still, 60’s Batman manages to turn into a roundhouse kick, followed by grabbing the other Batman, flipping and throwing him into a brick wall.

TDK Bat tried to get back up, but soon faced with a Batarang hitting him upside the head, then a hit of Bat Sleeping Gas to really make sure he’d be taken out. 60’s Batman walked up even close to him, and put the Batcuffs on him. TDK Batman was unconscious, kept in place, and his back was actually broken once again. 60’s Batman brought the other Batman over to Bat-Mite, who was floating near the held captive Robin and Batgirl.


“Please let my friends go, Bat-Mite…I’ve done what you’ve asked…” “Well, no, but technically…yes!” “What do you mean?” “I know you didn’t directly kill the other Batman, but he’s been severely injured. His back, and many other things, are broken, and he would probably pass on in his sleep due to the untended injuries…but I knew you’d never kill him directly! Still, he is as good as dead.” Bat-Mite chuckled. “Why are you so happy about that, you foul fifth-dimensional fiend?” 60’s Batman yelled at Bat-Mite. “Because, you’ve won! Congratulations! Also…”

Bat-Mite snapped his fingers once again and TDK Batman got up, with no cuffs on, and seemed to be perfectly fine, and the vat of acid sharks disappeared, with Robin and Batgirl freed and standing behind the two Batmen. “What?” The two Batmen, Robin, and Batgirl all simultaneously shouted. “Everything should be fine now! I’ll set everyone in their rightful place, good as new!” “What?” Bat-Mite snapped his fingers once again, and did exactly as he said. Almost as if the fight had never happened. Bat-Mite is kind of a prick sometimes, but it’s not long he didn’t do worse in “World’s Funnest”.
                                                                                                                                                                                          

THE EYE: Holy goat nipples, Batthumb!

AL: What? Anyways, this was actually a very close fight, with the tech advantage actually going to TDK Batman, for the most part, mainly because of more weaponized vehicles, and that what was envisioned as advanced in the 60’s is mostly just what we have now, shark repellent notwithstanding. But tech is probably the only area where TDK Bats had the advantage. 60’s Batman is stronger and has had a longer career as a crimefighter, meaning he’s had more time and showings against a variety of foes that tested his mind and his fighting abilities, basically going up against every major villain at the time, whereas TDK Batman only dealt with a handful of the general Batman rogues’ gallery.

THE EYE: TDK Batman is no dummy, but he wasn’t really that much of a detective, at least when you compare him to other Batmen…such as this one! Yes, he fought Bane and Killer Croc, but keep in mind that they weren’t the super-steroid-serum luchadore or the giant crocodile man of the comics, but rather a rather skilled man who nevertheless had to wear a mask to stay alive and a deformed guy who was essentially on drugs. Hyped up, but not a total superhuman, whereas villains like the Joker and Penguin usually have enough to match 60’s Batman in terms of gadgets, vehicles, and helpers, and he still manages to win against those criminals.

AL: In terms of what matters in one on one fighting, 60’s Batman had the skills that mattered the most. He’s smarter, stronger, has fought a wider variety of foes, and he’s far more tenacious.

THE EYE: TDK Batman quit twice, and the second time was permanent. I say there’s no room for quitters in a Death Battle!

AL: I wouldn’t quite put it that way, but the winner is 60’s Batman.

+ Stronger/more endurance

+ Possibly faster (?)

+ More experienced

- Less advanced equipment

- No armor